


Fix This Broken Heart

by 2Loverz



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M, face slap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:19:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1609844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2Loverz/pseuds/2Loverz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people need a kick in their ass (or a slap in the face), to see what's right in front of them!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fix This Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'ed! So, you know, typos and other errors belong to me. :)

 

 

 

It's saturday night and Tommy's sitting all alone on the edge of his bed, in his hotel room.

 

Everyone's out to party, but he's all alone. Again. Drinking down the pain he has to go through for months now.

 

Months yes, since he was sure Adam's way more than just a crush that would be over soon.  A crush he had on him since the moment they locked eyes for the first time. But if he's completely honest, he fell for  Adam the moment he saw him on Idol.

 

***

 

This good looking man, with the jet-black hair with blue strands, black nail polish and eyeliner. The way he stood on this stage, owned it. In his tight shirt and even tighter pants; looking sexier than anyone Tommy's had ever seen. It made him feel uncomfortable in his pants, with his erection (yes, Adam got Tommy hard the moment he saw him) now begging to be freed, but Tommy just kept looking and listened to his voice.

 

His voice hitting notes that made Tommy shiver. And those blue eyes, as if they were staring right into his soul. He got him right then, right there.

 

After Adam had finished his performance Tommy just sat there, staring at the screen; all stunned and in awe and with a crush on this fabulous singer.

 

 _What's his name?_ Tommy wondered looking all over the screen and then it appeared again- Adam Lambert.

 

 _If he's gay?_   Was right the next question that was running through his mind.

 

Some weeks later he knew he was- Tommy grinned from ear to ear. His male crush was gay - perfect he thought and went some months later to an audition for Adam's band. Not to get a chance with him, but he really found he's an outstanding singer he wanted to work with. Ok, truthfully, that he could have at least chance to hit on him would be a nice side effect, he couldn't deny _that_. So, he went to the audition.

 

When, a few days later he got a call he didn't dare to believe it at first, but he got the job. He really got the job to play in Adam fucking Lambert's band. This all was now almost eight months ago. Eight months in which his life has changed so much.

 

***

 

He's half through the tour in the States and later all over the fucking world, he should be happy. Yes, he should but he couldn't. His heart is torn into pieces. He didn't plan on this, he didn't plan on falling in so much fucking love with Adam that he went directly to him and told him. He never planned on making things complicated. He never planned on putting their friendship at risk. He knew, if this isn't gonna work out someone was gonna get hurt, someone always gets hurt in such situations. And the one who would get hurt was most likely to be himself. But he had to do it, or else he might regret it and cuss about the lost chances and wasted opportunities for the rest of his life.

 

It is not even a hour ago when Adam turned him down again.

  
Tommy went to Adam's room, wanted to tell him again how and what he feels for him, that he's serious about it and this is ain't a game for him that he truly wanted to be together with Adam – with a man, since this was one of Adam's biggest concerns, that Tommy would see it as phase or experiment, and Adam couldn't let it happen if it was nothing more than that.

 

He tried it several times and who would've guessed it, but Adam sent him away. No matter how hot they were making out. No matter that they were close to naked, at least shirtless. Dicks were rubbing against each other (through way too many stupid layers of clothing), lips were locked together, tongues and hands exploring bodies and teeth leaving sweet little marks everywhere they could be left, reminding them how heated things have gotten between them.

 

But even as Tommy named it all, Adam wouldn't listen to him. Instead he would send him away  always with the same lame words as ever-fucking-time they've been through this.

 

"You're not even bi, so forget about being gay" he said calmly.

 

"Fuck you!” Tommy yelled at him. ”Fuck you, Adam, really fucking fuck you. Who's even talking about being gay? I want YOU what does it have to with being...", he broke off mid-sentence, running his fingers through his hair, slowly going mad at Adam's stubbornness.

 

Adam just looked at him.

 

"Fucking hell, Lambert!" he screamed, pushing Adam out of his way as he stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut loud enough for half of the corridor to hear.

 

Adam never seen Tommy freaking out like this before, it made him sad.  
  
  
  
Maybe it even got him thinking!?

 

 

**Later in a club:**

 

It didn't surprise Adam all too much that Sutan came to him.

 

"Had a little disagreement with your Kitty again?" he said teasingly, he couldn't know how bad it was this time. It wasn't it the first time they overheard them having an argument. About what? They could only guess.

 

"Sutan!" Adam glared at him "he's not..." he paused and sighed, "MY kitty".

 

Sipping on his drink he added audible sadly. “And he will never be. I'm not going to let myself  become an delusional sappy idiot, just to end up heartbroken, " he had problems to get those words out.

 

Did Adam really think this about Tommy, that he would break his heart? Of course you never know what happens, but did he really think Tommy would hurt him like that on purpose? That he would make a go for him if it's just an experiment for him?  
  


"And how do I even know he wants really me and not just another kind of sexual experience?” he added half in anger, “To see how it is to have a dick up his ass and when it doesn't feel right he dumps me, no thanks very much. I don't need this".  
  
  
  
Sutan stayed calm (he tried at least) but he did explode on the inside.

 

"Adam, have you ever asked him about his sexuality?"

 

"No, but he's had a girl before the tour” Adam argued.  
  
  
  
"Adam, I'm saying this as your friend, but how stupid are you?! Are you really this blind, Adam? Girlfriend or not, did the possibility of him being simply bisexual never cross you mind?!" Sutan asked shaking his head. Adam could be really stubborn sometimes.

 

Adam looked at him, in slight disbelief. _“...how stupid are you even?!_ ”. Well, that hurt. Even if he knew there certainly was some truth about it.

 

"Thanks, for the _nice_ compliment, FRIEND!" Adam hissed at him, turned around and walked away, all diva-like.

 

 

**The same time in Tommy's hotel room:**

 

Tommy still was sitting on the bed, not moving since the moment he sat down.  A bottle of Jack in his left hand and a bottle of beer in the right.  
  
  
  
"Motherfucker!" he cursed, "Does he really think I wouldn't know what I want?! That I'm just playing with him to get a good fuck?!" he muttered looking at the Jack before he takes a large gulp. Then tilting his head he looked at the bottle of beer.

 

"Why does he have to do that? Is he really that fucking blind?" he's taking another gulp, from the beer this time. "Gonna buy him some fucking glasses, then maybe he'll see," Tommy rambles on, "Getting it through that thick, stubborn skull of his".

 

"He already does see,” Adam's voice suddenly came from the door, where he stood.

 

Tommy was startled, almost falling off the bed, since, well, alcohol done this mean thing of taking away his ability of keeping his balance properly. But he managed to not fall off the bed and rose. He straightened himself and walked towards Adam, the bottles still in his hands.  
  
  
  
"You want something?” he held both bottles in Adam's direction.

 

Adam just shook his head, no. "And you shouldn't be drinking any more either” he said.

 

"You, Mister” Tommy started and took a gulp again "are so not telling me when or when not to drink", he poked his finger into Adam's chest.

 

"Tommy, I..."

 

But Tommy cut him off  "No, you're not 'Tommy I'-yourself out of this" he said angrily. Another gulp from the bottle of Jack followed.

 

"Do you have any idea of how I'm feeling?" he asked, anger in his eyes and voice, "yeah,  probably not, since you're too busy riding on your high horse with not even letting me say what I want to say and don't even deny it.”

 

Adam just looked at him, did he know Tommy wasn't done yet...that Tommy was just getting started. And he was right...

 

"You send me away, everytime. We kissed, made out, rolling around, taking our clothes off, got each other off...” another gulp, of his beer this time. "Adam, you fucking marked me!" he shouted as sat the bottles aside on the table. Gripping the hem of his shirt he hauled it over his head and showed Adam the visible marks his teeth had left, spread over his chest, neck and stomach.  
  
  
  
Adam took a deep breath, but before he even could say one word Tommy continued "I am talking and you are listening!" he growled.

 

"Why did you do that? Is it fun for you to know that your little boytoy would see it every morning when he takes a shower and sees himself in the mirror? That he sees what you left?” Tommy's voice got more heated with every word he said.

 

Tommy had to take a deep breath before he continued, he was in so much rage.

 

"Cause I sure don't enjoy it. Not knowing if these marks will go away, but never will be replaced by new ones,  cause you one day decide to stop playing around with me"

 

Adam just looked at him, almost hopeless like a little kid he stood there, yet not daring to look Tommy straight in the eyes, to see the sadness and anger in his eyes, like he was hearing in his voice. Adam knew he fucked up majorly. But could he really be blamed? Tommy was supposedly straight and Adam just respected that and also valued their friendship. But could this really excuse his whole behavior?!

 

"Fucking look at me when I talk to you, Lambert!” he growled, reaching out he grabbed Adam's face, forcing him to look at him.

 

"Did you get off on it? Knowing that I would see it every-fucking-day?” Tommy was totally out of his mind now,  he was so furious.  
  
  
  
"I...no...Tommy" tried to reply as a hard slap across his face was Tommy's reaction.  
  
  
  
"Don't you fucking listen? I said 'I talk'!" he nearly screamed. That he just asked Adam a question to which Adam just wanted to give him an answer his mind didn't register, too far gone in his anger.  
  
  
  
Tommy now begun pushing Adam backwards.  
  
  
  
"Now, listen...I don't know how often I tried to tell you this and I don't know what to say or do to make your stupid, stubborn brain believe me that...," his voice now almost sounded broken, "That I am in fucking love with you" and with that he pushed him hard against the wall. Adam's back making contact with the wall in an audible thud.  
  
  
  
"I'm not playing any ga...." then he just stopped. Not trusting his voice anymore he just looked at Adam. Anger leaving his eyes, as they slowly filled up with tears.  
  
  
  
"Why are you doing this to me, Adam, why?" Tommy asked with crying eyes, his voice a sobbing mess.  
  
  
  
Fisting Adam's shirt he nearly pleadingly asked again "Why? Why do I deserve this?!"  
  
  
  
It broke Adam's heart to see Tommy like this and it all was his fault. Adam wrapped his arms around him, tried that is, Tommy still being angry tried to get out of the embrace, but Adam didn't let him go. He only tightened his embrace and stroked over his hair to calm him.  
  
  
  
"I'm so so sorry, Tommy. I didn't...I was afraid" Adam said, almost whispered after a few minutes of silence.  
  
  
  
"Afraid of what?" Tommy asked in confusion, "afraid of me loving you or me breaking your heart? Adam, I would never ever do that. I am in so much fucking love with you, it would kill me on the inside if I ever broke your heart or lose you. That would be the end of me"  
  
  
  
Adam just looked into Tommy's usually brown, but now red eyes.  
  
  
And once again he notices how pretty this man was. Even now, with tear-strained eyes, he looks more beautiful than anyone Adam's had ever seen.

"Tommy," Adam put a finger under the blond's chin, making him look into his eyes. "That, to hurt you, was never my intention. I was trying to save myself, I couldn't risk to let this go beyond what we had.  And what we were doing was crossing multiple lines, I swore to myself not to never cross. And not knowing for sure what this whole thing is for you. How could I know if you just wanted to try out something new and then after you decided you don't like it then you'd kick my butt?" Adam tried to explain calmly.  
  
  
  
He paused looking around shaking his head "I couldn't do this. Maybe it was wrong to turn you down anytime you wanted more, or to let us get that far again and again at all. Now I know that it was unfair, that I shouldn't have done that and I'm truely deeply sorry for what I've put you through the past months”  
  
  
  
And now in Adam's eyes tears began to form as well.  
  
  
  
"Why are you crying, Babyboy?” Tommy asked wiping the tears away with his thumb, which surprised Adam.  
  
  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
  
  
"After all what I've done, how I've treated you, you're still asking for the reason of MY tears?!”

 

"I love you, Adam. I thought you finally saw that. And that includes to care for your tears"

 

That was the moment that shattered Adam completely. He knew there is still a lot at risk, a lot to be lost here. But the idea of not taking this chance of a life together with Tommy scared him more than anything else.  
  
  
  
He took Tommy's face in his hands and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

 

"I'm sorry that I lied to you all the time;” his kissed him again, just a quick peck. “I am in love with you too", Adam finally said, "always have been. Since that moment when you walked through the door to audition for the band. How shy you looked at me – oh god, you were so beautiful, you are so beautiful!"  
  
  
  
Then Tommy got on his tiptoes pulled Adam slightly down and started devouring his mouth!


End file.
